So here we are again. Same place, same God and same fingers banging away on the keyboard only now they are a year on in their journey with Him.
Last time I wrote these I got some really nice encouragement from people. Thanks! But now some of the motives for writing this are not pure. Thoughts like "gee people with think I am spiritual" and "I bet 'so and so' will like this", have come into my mind. I don't know if these thoughts are controlling whether I write or not but I need to reject them as ungodly every time they crop up and reaffirm the reasons I am writing these updates. So here they are
1) So I can let you know how I am going and remain connected with you.
2) So I can be kept more accountable.
3) So you can learn from my mistakes.
4) To challenge your own christian walk.
Last time I wrote these I got some really nice encouragement from people. Thanks! But now some of the motives for writing this are not pure. Thoughts like "gee people with think I am spiritual" and "I bet 'so and so' will like this", have come into my mind. I don't know if these thoughts are controlling whether I write or not but I need to reject them as ungodly every time they crop up and reaffirm the reasons I am writing these updates. So here they are
1) So I can let you know how I am going and remain connected with you.
2) So I can be kept more accountable.
3) So you can learn from my mistakes.
4) To challenge your own christian walk.
5) To keep people from worrying I have run off the rails.
6) I'll use this blog to teach important things I'm learning myself.
6) I'll use this blog to teach important things I'm learning myself.
7) I believe my experiences are useful and people can take something from them.
If by reading this update you feel like elevating me or thinking more of me than just a fellow journeyer on the narrow path maybe you should stop. Do take whatever good you see in my life and apply it to your own. Learn from and pray for the bad; and let the Holy Spirit challenge and change you, but don't think you need to model yourself off something that works for me. Otherwise, thanks for reading this and sharing these experiences with me, I really appreciate that you'd take time out to see where I'm at.
I'll start by sharing some struggles I'm working through and some things I've learned in the last little while.
Pride: It amazes me sometimes that I can fool myself into thinking I am real close with God when I have got so much pride in my life. Pride is repulsive to every human I've come across, how much more to our Holy God. Infact the Bible says that 'God is far from the proud'.
Grover and Mick bought this issue up after a game of cricket we played against each other. Good timing, coz I had just recently been home and little brother wanted to prove to big brother how much better he was than him. It wasn't a game of cricket or hockey I was being asked to play but a game of pride. I should have known better but in I went and played the pride game and won...big deal eh? I won the games but I lost my brothers respect, I won approval from others who also misplace their worth, but I lost Gods. I had my brother pinned but in reality satan had pinned me right where he wanted me.
What a disgrace, I was more worried about beating my brother at something than I was about being happy for him and celebrating what he is good at and the progress he has made in his life.
This pride is so dangerous and deadly and it's not only happened with sports but with my spiritual life too. Off I go comparing my spiritual life with those around me, bringing down the people who are doing a good job, feeling threatened and wanting to be seen as the most spiritual person in the room, criticizing the church, things like that.
This pride game is tempting for me because most of the time I win. If I know I'm gunna lose, I wont come out to compete, or I'll pretend it doesn't matter. Either way it's a deadly game.
That conversation got me thinking about whether or not I would let my brother beat me, given the chance. And I came to the sad conclusion that I just couldn't. So much of my worth is placed in 'being the best' that in the heat of the moment I don't think I would, even if I wanted to.
I realised that this pride was a god in my life and that it needed to go. So I have repented and asked God to help me not get involved in these pride games any more. I suppose this has also shown me that I am still placing my worth in things besides God, namely 'being good at stuff'. which is fairly secure, but in reality it's sand compared to 'the rock' I should be building on.
Discipline: As I was cleaning out my room just before I left, I had the chance to look at what my life has been like and one thing I noticed as I was sorting through and throwing things out was a real lack of discipline in my life.
I came across the following.
If by reading this update you feel like elevating me or thinking more of me than just a fellow journeyer on the narrow path maybe you should stop. Do take whatever good you see in my life and apply it to your own. Learn from and pray for the bad; and let the Holy Spirit challenge and change you, but don't think you need to model yourself off something that works for me. Otherwise, thanks for reading this and sharing these experiences with me, I really appreciate that you'd take time out to see where I'm at.
I'll start by sharing some struggles I'm working through and some things I've learned in the last little while.
Pride: It amazes me sometimes that I can fool myself into thinking I am real close with God when I have got so much pride in my life. Pride is repulsive to every human I've come across, how much more to our Holy God. Infact the Bible says that 'God is far from the proud'.
Grover and Mick bought this issue up after a game of cricket we played against each other. Good timing, coz I had just recently been home and little brother wanted to prove to big brother how much better he was than him. It wasn't a game of cricket or hockey I was being asked to play but a game of pride. I should have known better but in I went and played the pride game and won...big deal eh? I won the games but I lost my brothers respect, I won approval from others who also misplace their worth, but I lost Gods. I had my brother pinned but in reality satan had pinned me right where he wanted me.
What a disgrace, I was more worried about beating my brother at something than I was about being happy for him and celebrating what he is good at and the progress he has made in his life.
This pride is so dangerous and deadly and it's not only happened with sports but with my spiritual life too. Off I go comparing my spiritual life with those around me, bringing down the people who are doing a good job, feeling threatened and wanting to be seen as the most spiritual person in the room, criticizing the church, things like that.
This pride game is tempting for me because most of the time I win. If I know I'm gunna lose, I wont come out to compete, or I'll pretend it doesn't matter. Either way it's a deadly game.
That conversation got me thinking about whether or not I would let my brother beat me, given the chance. And I came to the sad conclusion that I just couldn't. So much of my worth is placed in 'being the best' that in the heat of the moment I don't think I would, even if I wanted to.
I realised that this pride was a god in my life and that it needed to go. So I have repented and asked God to help me not get involved in these pride games any more. I suppose this has also shown me that I am still placing my worth in things besides God, namely 'being good at stuff'. which is fairly secure, but in reality it's sand compared to 'the rock' I should be building on.
Discipline: As I was cleaning out my room just before I left, I had the chance to look at what my life has been like and one thing I noticed as I was sorting through and throwing things out was a real lack of discipline in my life.
I came across the following.
- Pages from a book I have been writing on and off since 2002. I always talked about getting it published but never put the time or effort in to finish what I started.
- The infamous "BAD sports" board game I started with Brad and Derek and also wanted to make millions of copies of!
- A nicely illustrated "30 days with God" poster I made for myself, to make sure I was having daily God time. 5 days were filled out, the rest of the poster was blank.
- A Church "backyard blitz" service I had organized but never followed through on.
- I also found a whole stack of weight training programs, bike riding + running charts that I have made over the past 10+ years... all of them half filled and incomplete.
The only charts and prayer journals that were filled consistently were when I was in year 12, which was no doubt the most worthwhile year of my life and quite possibly the most enjoyable too.
Without discipline it feels like my life has been going nowhere and has no real purpose. In year 12 everything I did had a purpose. "Hey i am going to play basketball, great I will get to be a good witness and probably get to talk to so and so on the way home" "How can I honor God in this situation"... I want that back, but maybe not enough if I am unwilling to discipline myself into getting it back??
It's a bit weird that I can discipline myself to get through another 4 years of school, show up to play sport every week and even eat vegetables instead of meat yet struggle to spend alone time with God each day. Could it be that I've defined why it's beneficial to do each of these things but I can't see clearly how spending time with God benefits me Spiritually?
Maybe I need to sit down and figure out why its a good idea, instead of hearing it second hand from someone else and being told "it just is". I really don't like people telling me what I need to put into my schedule (read the Bible, pray, go to church, etc) it makes me feel guilty and rotten and it feels so forced and legalistic.
Encouragement: Me, Derek and Lisa were talking about encouragement and I was thinking about how quick I am to jump on something someone says that I don't agree with (pride) and yet forget about the 30 minutes of good things they preached from the Bible. This same Bible tell us to be 'quick to praise and slow to rebuke' but it seems alot of the time I am modelling the complete opposite. I'm very slow to let people know what a good job they are doing by applauding and appreciating their holiness, good decisions and caring advice. I'm much quicker at letting someone know there's too much salt in a meal, they've put up a bad shot, or I disagree with their incorrect doctrine (who's to say I've got it right?) or their sinful behaviour. So I have been trying to make a concious efffort to be a verbal encouragement to the people around me. The Bible is so clear about the effects your tongue can have; but not only when you are putting others down.
Kind words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)
Maybe I need to sit down and figure out why its a good idea, instead of hearing it second hand from someone else and being told "it just is". I really don't like people telling me what I need to put into my schedule (read the Bible, pray, go to church, etc) it makes me feel guilty and rotten and it feels so forced and legalistic.
Encouragement: Me, Derek and Lisa were talking about encouragement and I was thinking about how quick I am to jump on something someone says that I don't agree with (pride) and yet forget about the 30 minutes of good things they preached from the Bible. This same Bible tell us to be 'quick to praise and slow to rebuke' but it seems alot of the time I am modelling the complete opposite. I'm very slow to let people know what a good job they are doing by applauding and appreciating their holiness, good decisions and caring advice. I'm much quicker at letting someone know there's too much salt in a meal, they've put up a bad shot, or I disagree with their incorrect doctrine (who's to say I've got it right?) or their sinful behaviour. So I have been trying to make a concious efffort to be a verbal encouragement to the people around me. The Bible is so clear about the effects your tongue can have; but not only when you are putting others down.
Kind words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
The words of the godly encourage many, but fools are destroyed by their lack of common sense. (Proverbs 10:21)
Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. (Proverbs 12:25)
I don't know where I stand on this controversial comment but it leads perfectly into the next section.
Encouragement is a command, not an optional extra.
Sins of omission. For whatever reason sometimes I fail to see the importance of the proactive commands of God. I concentrate so hard on the prohibitive commands of God (do not steal, lie, lust etc) that alot of the time I neglect the things He wants, no, commands me as a Christian to do.
ENCOURAGE one another, DON'T GIVE UP MEETING with each other, PUT OTHERS FIRST, DO unto others as you'd have them do to you, MAKE disciples...we are called to more than just not participating in behaviours that displease God. God says both 'no' and 'go' and if we fail to listen on either account its just as serious. I wrote it down a long time ago that 'Christians should be known for what they do rather than for things they wont'.
Good stuff:
Don't worry I have made a few good decisions too! One has been getting involved in a church asap.
I Have been getting really involved in church since I got over here. I haven't missed attending church since getting to Springfield...even if I did attend the wrong one the first week, (we share a building, pretty interesting story but too long to be bothered writing).
The church I'm going to (CCC Springfield) has a great minister who is really genuine and approachable. Me and Kev were invited to his house for a meal during the week and it was just good to get to know him and about his experiences. I really am so hapy to have met him. He asked us all about our lives and families. Speaking of families, his family are great (all around our age) I've been round to his house every week since, not just for the free food either!
I'm still not feeling fully a part of whats going on yet, but community takes time and effort. Since I've been putting in the effort for once, its only a matter of time!! Kev and I are planning on playing with the church softball team too so that should help...or hinder, depending how much of an unco I am!
I have also got along to youth group to help out the last three weeks. They're a great bunch of kids, and I'm really looking foward to befriending them and hopefully adding something of value to their lives. It's actually quite funny getting offered a lift home by 16 or 17 year olds who are still in school...are you supposed to be driving?? The youth group leader Nick is in his early thirties and is a really great guy. I look foward to getting to know and work with him as well.
The decision I am most proud of is choosing a good attitude. It's making a huge difference and it did the other day when I went to the on campus church service. I chose to have a good attitude and it freed my mind up to focus on God rather than picking out and dwelling on things I disagree with or think could be done better. There will always be things like that, but if I enter a church building to dwell on them then I've completely missed the point. So thank goodness God was patient enough to see me through this long dark area.
ENCOURAGE one another, DON'T GIVE UP MEETING with each other, PUT OTHERS FIRST, DO unto others as you'd have them do to you, MAKE disciples...we are called to more than just not participating in behaviours that displease God. God says both 'no' and 'go' and if we fail to listen on either account its just as serious. I wrote it down a long time ago that 'Christians should be known for what they do rather than for things they wont'.
Good stuff:
Don't worry I have made a few good decisions too! One has been getting involved in a church asap.
I Have been getting really involved in church since I got over here. I haven't missed attending church since getting to Springfield...even if I did attend the wrong one the first week, (we share a building, pretty interesting story but too long to be bothered writing).
The church I'm going to (CCC Springfield) has a great minister who is really genuine and approachable. Me and Kev were invited to his house for a meal during the week and it was just good to get to know him and about his experiences. I really am so hapy to have met him. He asked us all about our lives and families. Speaking of families, his family are great (all around our age) I've been round to his house every week since, not just for the free food either!
I'm still not feeling fully a part of whats going on yet, but community takes time and effort. Since I've been putting in the effort for once, its only a matter of time!! Kev and I are planning on playing with the church softball team too so that should help...or hinder, depending how much of an unco I am!
I have also got along to youth group to help out the last three weeks. They're a great bunch of kids, and I'm really looking foward to befriending them and hopefully adding something of value to their lives. It's actually quite funny getting offered a lift home by 16 or 17 year olds who are still in school...are you supposed to be driving?? The youth group leader Nick is in his early thirties and is a really great guy. I look foward to getting to know and work with him as well.
The decision I am most proud of is choosing a good attitude. It's making a huge difference and it did the other day when I went to the on campus church service. I chose to have a good attitude and it freed my mind up to focus on God rather than picking out and dwelling on things I disagree with or think could be done better. There will always be things like that, but if I enter a church building to dwell on them then I've completely missed the point. So thank goodness God was patient enough to see me through this long dark area.
In relation to my character it feels like I'm on a quest yet I have no control over where I end up. I want to become more encouraging, I want to become more disciplined. I want to become a whole bunch of things that I might be able to change in my own strength; but then all that is achieved is a temporary surface change. I want a change of heart and I want to be like God. I want his character to rub off on me, not for me to keep striving to be like him in my own strength...So maybe it does come back to spending time connecting with God, allowing his life and character to influence my own. The dilemma is, knowing how weak and helpless I am without God, yet not using that as an excuse for not taking responsibility for ungodly decisions and laziness.
Life is a tightrope, you really do need balance for success. (Thankyou Mrs Holden)
And finally...I am planning on getting to Mexico for Spring break for a week to help build houses, basketball courts and anything else they want to risk me trying my hand at. I'd call it a mission trip but life is one big mission trip ey? Lets hope so.
So pretty much thats all I've got to say for now. Hope you are all doing well, growing closer to God and discovering what lifes all about.
