008 Thanks for the memories

So it was back to Springfield and back to work (Yes this does imply i worked last semester). Lots of work, in fact about 10-12 hours a day.

I got back and soon was enjoying my assistant coaching position. After an appalling record with the boys team i was hoping to do a little better with the girls. Four games in and my record had slipped to 0 and 20. Things weren't looking good, but at least they learned the Nutbush.

Comments like "thats the best footwork I've seen all season" may have had something to do with my losing streak.

After a week of matches washed out our first win finally came. By seasons end the teams record improved to 6-8, and the girls found themselves playing off against the top ranked team in our district for a spot at state. It was fairly close but we got sent back to Springfield with 4th place in our district. A pretty good effort.

Mid season, our team hit stardom at an all day tournament when they appeared on KY3 local news who were covering show court. I took a starring role cheering on from the stands. The team is now a household name. At least in the households they come from.

It was an absolute pleasure coaching these ladies but i don't know whether i would do it again, at least not with a full teaching load. It was a little too much which i have decided will be one of my biggest problems in life. Getting too busy and over involved.


Back to the news desk

Now onto the living situation where Lorimer spotted some vacant floor in a living room at 2828 S Nettleton which he has claimed as his own. Sources believe this floor actually belongs to Bruner and Stocker who both agree this nuisance feral must go. Complaints about hygiene were surprisingly low but multiple threats have been made to evict this homeless bum. Up to this point all have failed as he somehow managed to get a key cut. Expert detectives tracked the trail of this sponge to the apartment complex where Lorimer was found and later evicted on the 21st of October.

Here is the site of the eviction


Here's 'Whitey' who would take up two car spaces every time, without fail.

Living life as a high roller has its perks as Lorimer found out a while back when he had his wisdom tooth removed. Growing completely sideways, the problem tooth was identified and soon taken care of at half price $321, due to a 'professional discount' given by the surgeon who recognized Lorimer from a Friday night party. Lorimer would like to thank his dreads because without them his presence at this party may have gone unnoticed. To dreadlocks critics Lorimer would like to point out that even after the cost of getting them done he is still up $281 dollars.

Now showing A.L's inconvenient tooth!

The procedure left him in a giggly state unable to stop himself laughing and later making a fool out of himself by saying the alphabet backwards (thanks mum) to prove he was 'sober' from the effects of the anaesthetic. For the next few days he was taken care of by his surrogate family, the Chiles'. Making an hasty decision he returned on Friday to teach 7 classes with a 'dry socket' he didn't know about at the time. The socket is no longer dry and Lorimer has weaned his way off the remaining painkillers which he noted, 'come in handy for a good nights sleep.

$281 up, but now for long. That balance was soon to be reduced as Lorimer was caught speeding up and down the hills toward a tennis match in Rogersville. If ever there was a perfect time to try evading the long arm of the law, this was it. Acknowledging his guilt, Lorimer immediately pulled over and only later had thoughts of driving away from the officer who was headed in the other direction. The nice officer handed him the fine and went on his way.

A very expensive lesson in pateince would have been missed if Lorimer had taken up the offer of those around him who, 'knew someone on the inside' that could make things like this dissappear! As much as it pains him to hand over the completely wasted $208 he feels that this is the best way to take responsibility for his actions and to reflect on why these actions happen in the first place. A sheer lack of patience. (more about this in next Spiritual update)

A father to many

Responsible for none!

Stoopid Americans

"Alright 1st graders, can you guess where i'm from?" England the first kid guessed. "No, not from England" i said. Jamaica, "No, not Jamaica" "America", the answers started flowing now. "No not America" Africa "Not Africa", "China" "No, i said trying not to laugh and then realizing they weren't going to get it. "Ok, heres a clue we have animals that go like this", i said as i bounced up and down. "Kangaroo", they said excitedly as i nodded. "Mexico" one kid shouted out joined excitedly by most of his class! Through all the noise i finally heard someone else calling out Australia. Thank goodness for that.

As punishment all students under my care had to culture themselves by learning the "Nutbush"

Now here are some funny things I came across in the Math classroom.

One student unintentionally wrote down 'Absolut vodka' as an answer instead of 'Absolute value'.

When discussing inverses i asked what negative 5 and positive 5 were. Someone yelled out "Addictive inverse" which should probably have been "Additive inverse"

Do you speak Australian?


Stoopid Australians

One day I told a student to stop being cheeky, who then replied "whats cheeky" which is exactly what you'd expect from a cheeky kid! I said something like "don't be dumb, just stop it" and then their friend chimed in "Hey, they seriously don't know what it means, I've never heard it either"

In the first week i was left to hold down the fort at the start of class which saw a bunch of kids run into the storeroom which i put a stop to. "Mr Taylor lets us play with basketballs for the first 10 minutes of class" a few kids shouted to me. "Hahaha, sure he does" i replied, "I may be a student teacher but i'm not stupid" i said. Knowing kids are always trying to take advantage of you i was pretty proud of myself for exposing their fraud. But soon coach Taylor came in, out came the basketballs.


I started to really enjoy teaching the little kids. Especially kinder and second grade. Maybe i could be a primary school teacher after all. Maybe i'll end up in a k-12 school. It was a shame because the principal came in an saw the worst class i taught. My first attempt with Kindergarten which i used every known HIGH SCHOOL discipline technique!! Let me just tell you now, staring to embarrass them doesn't make them quiet! After that the principal gave me some good advice and from then on things went really well. I don't think she came in and saw any of my classes after that. Oh well.

I like younger kids because they are easy to impress, easy to please and they still have a desire to learn which alot of older students didn't have. It seems they know it all and i am just there to play fun games for them! I did enjoy the overall experience and know i learned a bunch but it would have been good to have time to scratch myself and at least reflect on a plan some good lessons.

Sometimes the kids listen

Sometimes they don't, even when you tell them not to!! (Yellow hoodie)

One thing i noticed and continued noticing was that alot of the students from Greenwood come from extremely affluent backgrounds. I definitely had my ideas about what people in that socio economic bracket would be like but alot of my stereotypes were broken, especially by the tennis team. Their generosity, kindness and the majority of their behavior was a good reflection on people with a privileged background. Thumbs up to the parents i spose.

I repeated roughly this to the Springfield Newsleader who were covering the 100 year Greenwood celebrations but somehow it the article ended up saying. "Lorimer has had a bias toward teaching in this sort of setting due to his previous experiences in low socio economic settings" What??!! I wonder how people who are really famous feel? As for me, i was just glad to be in the paper.

One thing i did notice while teaching was that alot of students refused to take responsibility for their individual behaviour. As long as someone else was doing it apparently that made it ok. "Can you stop talking", "but he was talking as well" "Well i saw you talking, worry about yourself and as long as you are doing the right thing i won't be pulling you up" I don't know if that got through but all the best to em.


A lady invited me over to her house one Friday for a staff get together telling me it would be good for me to meet other people in the Greenwood community. She told me it was pretty low key and i decided to come. So i showed up to what i consider a gated community of Castles. I have never seen houses that big or that lovely. As i drove past the address she'd given me i noticed some people in black suits. I parked the car a bit up the street and walked down to the house closely followed by what i then realised were people dressed in black suits valet parking peoples cars! I got inside and there were waiters, horsdouvers and people downstairs serving drinks. Not being much of a high roller i talked to a few parents and then hung out with the kids that were there. They took me for a bit of a tour and I commented "This is such a nice house, it's huge" "Thanks, how big are houses in Australia?" I was asked and i estimated that ours would fit inside the middle of their three floors. "Wow, does everyone in Australia live in houses that small?"

So i stayed till the end of the night and found out this lady was wanting me to coach her son tennis and help out with math for a year or so. I told her about my plans with England so she gave me a bit of paper and said to look her up on the net, which i later did and found that she has been in charge of distributing 2.7 billion dollars through the Red Cross and holds some very prestigious volunteer work positions both in the U.S and overseas. One of which is being on the board of directors of an after school program (AfterSchool AllStars) with Arnold Swartzenegger who i may have recently declined speaking to, because i thought it would be better for the person like her on the phone to give my details in an american accent! Oops. It's probably for the best coz i could really see myself asking him to say "I'll be back" just before he hangs up.

I was supposed to hear from this organization a while ago and since i haven't i am now on my way out of America headed first to Seattle and Vancouver to have a look around. Germany to do much the same and then England to get a job casual relief teaching. I don't know where i will end up or what i will end up doing.

Which is why this picture is perfect

So i decided i cant wait forever and booked some flights and got ready to go. But before i left i found time over the last couple of weeks to get in.

My last church service at CCC

My last meal with SuperKev the minister (Soo's Korean, man it was good)

A volleyball match.


My first and last "football" game


And an Ice Hockey game with the most co-ordinated group cheer i have ever been a part of.

My last week has been spent cleaning, packing, slacking and stacking. It was fairly rushed and hasn't really hit home that i may not see a lot of these people again which makes me sad. I always wonder what a proper goodbye would look like. I still don't know, so today on the bus to Kansas City Airport i wrote a poem for everyone, people in Australia included.

Gate 43

People burst into my life
Bubbly, beautiful, brilliant, bright
But soon those bubbles burst in two
Leaving me wondering what to do
This makes me sick, i want to spew
Gone just after we had started
Developing a friendship, now departed
Sometimes its me that leaves them to hang
By moving on even though moving on stang
Move on we must, although there is loss
Otherwise we'd all grow a layer of moss
I now think ahead, sometime next week
Your presence i long, your company seek
"Lets meet over by that great big bear"
But i'm over here and you're over there
Its sad, in a moment we part ways, and thats it
We'll still communicate i'm sure, a bit
What a privilege it is to shed all these tears
That show what good friends i've had all these years
This cruel, depressing system of the departed
Emails and calls help us think we've outsmarted
But deep down inside i know what is true
I wish i could again, just spend time with you.



Goodbye Greenwood, Goodbye Springfield...for now.
Thanks for the memories.

007 "Oh Canada"

Andrew left Holden Village and headed toward Canada. On the way pulling over for some ice cream and then into a town called concrete, briefly laughing at 'Concrete high school' before continuing. Soon the Red Rocket started picking up Canadian radio stations on which Andrew heard it was going to be 26 degrees the next day...'thats pretty cold', he thought and then realised they were talking in Celsius. Tears of happiness flowed freely.

The Red Rocket then hopped safely aboard the ferry. The other cars were very jealous because it was obviously the best looking car on the boat.



After a few hours on the water Andrew finally made it back to Canada. It was an emotional time hearing temperatures in Celsius and seeing speed signs in kilometers. Even the old Canada leaf bought back fond memories.



The first stop was Vancouver Island, (BC) British Columbia which locals say actually stands for Bring cash. When he asked for the price of a medium vegetarian pizza and was told $20.09 he laughed. Then, realising they weren't joking walked out and ate at a supermarket. It wasn't long before Andrew was dipping into the only reliable source of money he knows, ParentFund.


The first town he came across also bought back fond memories of his home state. Victoria. It was an absolutely stunning city. A city he could easily handle living in one day.



It came complete with classy buskers. Xylophone players from Africa and live statues from the flour factory. He even found time to rush around a titanic exhibit at the museum before finding a quality carpark for the night.



The next day he was up and ready to start the West Coast trail. A dream of his since returning to Australia in 2005. But soon Andrew got lost and then found a street that made him think he wasn't so lost after all. He was.



Eventually, after some helpful directions and a short boat ride he made it to the trail head of the West Coast trail setting a new world record for pack weight, 65 pounds. What he predicted to be a long 'walk in the park' suddenly became a whole lot harder.



A lot of the 75km track involved rock hopping and negotiating slippery rock pools which in turn meant lots of falls. A 9 on the Moro scale in some places. But with views like this Andrew wasn't going to complain. (Click to enlarge)



So the walking began and before long Andrew was sweating up his own ocean. He sat down for a break when suddenly, Sammy the slug appeared and challenged him to a race. Andrew lost. Sammy got stomped on.



Then Benny Banana slug came and told Andrew off. But Benny was immediately airmailed to the nearby monkeys who'd escaped from the Zoo.



Soon after that Slimy Stacey came and asked where her friends had gone. Andrew quickly diverted the conversation to baseball, home runs and batting averages. Stacey had no idea what he was talking about nor did she understand the fact that he had a massive slug% and was about to go 3 from 3 during this outing at Bush stadium.



The match was over and Andrew kept walking.



Then he found someone else to race. He lost again, but the smart seal screamed before Andrew had a chance to do anything.



Andrew decided the home fans wouldn't appreciate his previous tactics anyway, so he left before the crowd mobbed him.



Andrew snuck away, past a wall where both slugs and seals mount their victims. It looked as if he'd escape. But just as he thought he was safe, Andrew slipped and fell, lucky not to end up in a surge channel. This drew the attention of the head seal Simon who then barked orders at his ranks. "Simon says, seek and destroy" he screamed. The chase was on, if caught Andrews fate was sealed.



He started running. He ran past the St Louis arch



Through masses of messy mud.



Up lots of ladders.



Over a board walk.



And across a suspension bridge.



He then came to a magical garden where he tried to make friends with some other slugs. But they had already heard the news, so Andrew quickly ran before they could surround him.



He ran and hid behind some logs



And rested for a while.



Long enough to see the sun go down and pitch his somewhat slug and seal proof tent.



Even when he is being chased by crazy Canadian slugs Andrew still loves sunsets.



He woke up early the next morning and made a plan that involved brainwashing an innocent little creature. He kept repeating "See An enemy" while pointing to the seals and slugs still chasing him.



The war was intense, casualties strewn along the beach.



Ironic, since the West Coast trail was built to reduce casualties from Shipwrecks by providing a way for people to get to safety.



As the sky darkened safety was all that was on Andrews mind as he hurried toward the lighthouse with the slugs trailing close behind.



On his way Andrew met an Englishman who told him about a friend of his who went to Australia. He told him his friend was applying for a visa and being asked the usual questions by the consulate 'Do you have a criminal record' he was asked. 'Is that still a requirement' he replied.



As funny as he thought it was Andrew threw him off the cliff to the legion of advancing slugs. And while up at the lighthouse came up with another plan to shake his pursuers.



He decided to try lose them in a labyrinth.



The plan bought him some time and he met the friendly lighthouse keeper who let him take a photo through his telescope. Andrew realised he'd made enough enemies and decided not to shout out 'baldy baldy' to this eagle.



Instead he continued on the journey hoping to find somewhere safe to spend the night.



Eventually he found a nice place and some human company as well. He felt safe as he was offered drinks and heard talk about the school he was actually planning to teach at. The world definitely seemed like a small place. Certainly too small for humans and slugs to co-exist!



So Andrew picked up this ninja star and put in his pack.



And put this view in his memory bank.



As well as this one.



That night Andrew slept in and by the time he woke up the slugs and seals had set boobie traps all over the slippery rocks, making them even more slippery. He had to be very careful. Even more careful because that morning he met another cheeky Englishman who offered him some trail mix, hoping to reduce his pack weight. Andrews hesitation to say 'no' was taken as a 'yes' as the Englishman left the bag on a log beside Andrew and left.



Now burdened with some extra weight Andrew packed his gear and started walking. After a few hours he heard a loud noise running into the bushes. Andrew nearly wet his pants but then realised it wasn't a slug, just a bear. This was one of the highlights of his trip. Up close and personal with an adult bear, in the wild and all alone. Andrew took photos and then questioned the bear about the current tension between humans and slugs.



Too sensitive a topic to bring up, the bear started getting angry. Located downhill, yet up a tree, the bear was at eye level with Andrew who was surprisingly calm throughout the emotion charged interview.



After he could bear no more, Andrew left, heading past a swamp.



Then making it safely to the second and final ferry on the track.



Finally he had a reason to smile, there was no way the slugs could swim across this much water.



Andrew relaxed a little and started to take in the beauty the overcast day presented him with.



But soon he had other things to worry about. The footprints of a familiar friend were found headed across the same set of sand he was about to traverse.



Then the fresh rain came down and the not so fresh water Andrew had been drinking caught up with him. Barely making it to the toilet Andrew was well and truly relieved by the time he was done.



After continuing on in the rain for another few hours Andrew finally made it to camp for the night. He set up his wet tent and unpacked his soaking gear before finding some clean rainwater the slugs hadn't yet poisoned.



After a short nights sleep Andrew woke early and headed for then end of the track. During the first hour his body completely hit the wall. Luckily some unwanted trail mix revived him and provided the energy needed to pull of the final 17km. With 3km to go he slipped and fell on a muddy slope re-injuring his knee and nearly being overtaken by the advancing slugs who had hitchhiked across the water on the seals backs. Despite his body complaining Andrew pressed on, making it to the end of the track. Tired, exhausted and willing to pay $60 for a 3 hour bus ride back to the car.



Once back at the Red Rocket he paid $1 to have a shower before heading back to Victoria. On the way he picked up some hitchhikers. One was from Australia, the other from NZ. Having just put his backpack in the boot Andrew removed it and put it inside the car to make room for the New Zealander!



United by homelessness he found them a backpackers hostel then went off to find himself a good carpark for the night. His search successful as he found the best carpark of the trip. So good in-fact that he stayed there for two nights.

The next day Andrew made his way to Butchart gardens to take some pretty flower photos for his mum; another tactic to keep sponsorship money coming.

There were Orange ones

Pink ones

Yellow trumpet flowers and even a hummingbird buzzing around, which Andrew mistook for an extra large bee.

After that it was time to head back to the mainland and toward a province once seen in 2005.

The drive was longer than Tiger Woods could ever dream about as Andrew went on a national park blitz, touring 4 of them in the same day.

This was the first sign Andrew actually listened to.

Andrew then fell in this lake trying to walk across some floating logs. Then fell a second time before making it across. Spectators enjoyed the show and even requested he fall in again on purpose.

Looking as if he'd wet his pants Andrew got back in the car. The Red Rocket then took him past glacier fed lakes.

And other things you'd expect to see in the beautiful Canadian rockies.



What he didn't expect was to be sitting on the same rock he'd sat on two years earlier.

But there he was, at the same lake sitting on the same rock with a slightly different hairdo (or perhaps a hairdont!)

That was just the start of the memories to come



Here at the Chateau Banff he remembered the exact window he sat by on a rainy day talking to a window cleaner while eating Doritos. It's amazing the things he remembered while back in Banff.

It was a very special time, full of good memories. Like the time two years ago when a 58 year old woman smoked him up the Middle Sister.

After soaking in as much as one night would allow he started on his way back down to American soil, passing some brilliant sights on the way. It was a spectacular drive, made even more spectacular by a grizzly bear running infront of the car and into the bushes.

This golf course was only a shadow of the beauty seen on that drive

Soon it was time for Andrew hide all the illegal objects he'd gathered in Canada. Border Patrol opened the boot and begun their search until Andrew explained that the trunk is at the front of an elephant. So for the next 5 minutes they gave the Red Rocket an engine inspection. Seeing everything was in order they let him cross the border.

Onward to the land of the free and the home of the really cheap petrol. Fuel prices plummetting once across the border.

Into Montana and through Glacier National park he went.

Stopping occasionally to see the sights. Andrew climbed up a waterfall and made his way to the snow to produce another award winning film.

Taking out the secret ingredient from his pack (Grenadine) he made himself a genuine snowcone.



This mountain goat wanted some but Andrew said he'd trade it for some goats milk. The goat refused and so Andrew kept walking.

This time stopping every few steps to appreciate the beauty spread out before him. Alone on the track, nothing could be more perfect.

Or could it?

Andrew didn't know what to think anymore as he made his way back to the information centre. This was perfect, perfect weather, perfect views.

All this perfection was just too much.

Even when he got back on a track with everyone else the views continued to leave him speechless.

The track was where he met some more mountain goats who had also heard about his famous snow cones. His heart melted when he saw the baby goat so he made them an extra big one. The red colouring and the sugar was too much for the little kid who had a sugar seizure.

Andrew quickly ran from there, spending the night in a Missoula carpark before heading through Idaho and on to the Grand Tetons National park in Wyoming.

It was another beautiful national park and Andrew came across another bear. This one was less scared and more intimidating than the last one. Andrew got up close enough that two ladies hiking downhill told him off. Their warning fell on deaf ears as the excitement of seeing a bear outweighed any sense Andrew had. By filming to close Andrew recognized the bear was giving the same advice so he hurried up the hill to resume his film.

Luckily at the top of the mountain Andrew met some guys who agreed to walk back down with him. After Andrew had taken a few quick snaps they headed back down, Andrew having the privelledge of meeting two really cool guys from Easside. Later that night after they'd recovered their friend (on the left) who had been followed by a bear they ate some fish for dinner given to Andrew by a random passerby. After relaxing the next day they all headed into Jackson for a buffet. Walk in waddle out.

After the waddling was said and done Andrew left for Yellowstone National Park. It was very different to the other national parks. Bubbling springs and steamy geysers everywhere.

There were also great big bison patrolling the roads.

There was waterfalls



Canyons



Misty goodness.

And weird rock formations

This was actually solidified steam or something like that.



It was very different.



Distracted by all the new and exciting things Andrew forgot about the slugs who had now made their way down to Wyoming and set up a battle camp.



Andrew still had time to get a quick look at Old Faithful



But even she seemed angry with him.



So there he was trapped in the middle of a battle he no longer wanted to fight.



But still he took the time to enjoy what may be his last ever sunset.

But the next day something amazing happened. Andrew begged an old woman for some slug bait and he put it in the boiling water. The slugs fell in and were all boiled up. The orange around the edges is dead slug guts.



He stirred the mixture round and roasted them all up



Adding some goats milk he stole off little kid.



To celebrate he left and went to a Rodeo. The first one he'd ever been too.



It was so much fun.



But then it was over and time for everyone to go home.



But Andrew didn't have a home to go to, so he found a carpark.

This was the view Andrew had as he woke up early for a long drive to South Dakota.



On the way he stopped at Devils monument and wondered how all those people from Wyoming fit it on their numberplate's



It was big and steep and pretty.



That day he also saw his first Prairie Dog. But they were too quick to catch and put inside a bun with mustard and ketchup so he gave up and kept driving to South Dakota.



Once he got there he met his friend Jen and they went to a cave.



A wind cave, unlike anything he'd ever seen.



Then they went rock climbing and Andrew wasn't very good.

Then they met another good friend. His name was George Washington.



Andrew didn't know how good a friends Jen was with George

Apparently very good.

Andrew greeted him less formally.



Then he said goodbye to Jen and George and left for Badlands National park.



That day he was wearing nice clothes, so he took a photo of himself.



Then he tried to take another, but he was too slow.



That made him sad, but then it was off to visit his friend Lindsey in Minnesota.



He was very happy to be near the end of his journey and when he arrived it didn't take long for things to get back to normal. Lindsey making a foolish bet that Andrew couldn't sit through a sermon at her church without tuning out. He did, but Lindsey still hasn't paid up.



The next day they went to Valley fair and got wet and dizzy and sick.



"Some Jet skiing might make you feel better", Lindsey said. Andrew agreed.



After that he tried water skiing. It took Andrew more than 10 times but eventually he stood up. Nobody knows what took more of a beating that day, his pride or his body.



After that they played some golf and then Andrew left to go to Kansas City.



And play some more golf. Neither time went well.



But at least Andrew got to wear nice clothes again.

Robby did too, but nice clothes couldn't help him dig his ball out of this bunker. Andrew dialled 1100 to make sure it was alright to get the ball back.

Leaving goal 6 unachieved, this was the only birdie Andrew would see on Tiffany Greens golf course. He still can't believe he paid $40 to be tortured for 4 hours.

He was so mad that he drove straight back to Springfield completing a roughly 9,000 mile loop which passed through over 20 National Parks. This was undoubtedly the best holiday ever. A rich experience that he will remember for the rest of his life.

The trip ended the way it started, with a near car crash. This time Andrew assumed a two way stop sign was a four and nearly got T-boned minutes before reaching this familiar building where it all began. Woods House. A sight for sore eyes, glad to be back in the field for one last stint...or maybe more???


Since last blog Goals 14 and 8 have been achieved, although Goal 8 was an improvised using a cardboard box.



Also thanks to every single person that made this trip possible, your kindness, generosity and care is so very much appreciated, probably much more than you'll ever know.

-Andrew-